A Shattered Will
by Phoenix089
Summary: When it seems everything dictates that you cannot be together, how hard could you fight against the one you wanted, if you believed it right to do so? What if they were fighting equally hard to break your will? Zutara drabble. 1st Person perspective.


Hey there! Here's another fanfic from the crazy land known as my mind ...

I should mention, this is the first time I've tried First person perspective – Normally I can't stand it but, it didn't come out right unless it was in that perspective for some reason ...

Inspiration for this one was the songs: "The Escape" and "Midnight Romance" by A Kiss Could Be Deadly. I can't name one only cause it was a mixture ... Probably mostly "The Escape" cause I could see a Modern-Zutara scene in that one ...

Enough of my rambling though, on to the story!(after warnings and other necessary stuff...)

_Warnings: Zutara and Fluff. Blame the romantic in me._

_Spoilers: Uhm ... Nothing big. Maybe inconsequential stuff if you haven't seen the series yet – but why would you be reading this if that were the case?_

_Disclaimer: The characters definitely don't belong to me. Think I'd have let the series end the way it did if I did? Uh – _No_._

XXX

A sudden rap against my window caught my attention, forcing my hand to still in the middle of combing my hair. Curiously, I looked over at the translucent object hidden from view by the drawn shades.

The rap came again, this time a little more urgent, and I was certain it couldn't be the rain simply pattering against the panes this time, no matter how hard it was pouring right now. Rain does not make the distinct _tink-tink-tink_ sound against glass.

Uncertainly, I rose from the dresser where I'd been thoughtfully grooming my hair, the brunette mass falling down my back in waves, my nightgown shifting against my skin as I moved. Pausing for a moment, I summoned an ice dagger from what had, moments ago, been a basin of water and concealed the weapon behind my back, just in case. You never could be too certain in times such as these when an assassination attempt would occur, least of all given the country in which I was residing.

Peeling aside the curtain, my eyes met his, and my heart stopped for a moment. I should have expected it, I know I should have but … He was soaked from head to toe, his jet black hair falling down across his face, shielding his eyes in a way that was most alluring. Oh dear La, what had I done on this day to upset you?

His amber eyes glared out at me, the usual fierceness lost in his bedraggled state. He rapped at the window with one finger for the third time, and I was pulled out of my surprised state and flung the window open, allowing him to climb inside.

Already I was wondering if that in itself had been a good idea.

"What are you doing here?" I all but hissed at the scarlet-clothed form that was dripping all over the similarly coloured carpets – like it mattered. He _owned_ them all, after all – and whisked the window and blinds shut once more. "What would you do if the guards had _seen_ you? You understand the troubles that would cause!"

He looked over his shoulder, regarding me with silence, with that determined look on his face. The look that said he _needed_ something and wasn't leaving till he got it. Once more, I couldn't help but wonder what I'd done to annoy La today.

My caring nature got the better of me though and I skimmed over to stand in front of him, his eyes never leaving my form, and I realised with a jolt exactly how thin my nightgown was. Steeling myself, I decided to deal with the problem at hand – A thoroughly soaked Fire Lord standing in my room, in what seemed to be his night clothes.

"Zuko," I said in a forced, even tone. "What are you doing? More importantly, what were you thinking? How did you even g_et_ to my window? It's three stories high! How'd you even get up here without being seen?" I asked, bristling with an irritation that grew with each question.

A proud smirk flitted across his face, before his features returned to the intense look he'd worn since entering the room. This was definitely trouble, but could I turn him away? … Probably not. My tumultuous emotions were already beginning to overrule any form of reason.

No, I had to fight this. I _had_ to.

"Fine, if you're not going to explain, I'm going to bed. Goodnight!" I huffed, pulling off faux-agitation with ease. As I turned to leave however, a tanned hand darted out and captured my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

I refused to meet his eye. No. I couldn't. If I looked at him now and saw that smouldering gaze once more… La only knew the outcome. A tiny part of me couldn't help but wonder if that was her plan however as I felt my heart race beneath my chest. From fear? Anticipation? Who knew? All thoughts were erased the second he spoke my name.

"Katara," he breathed, and I realized belatedly as he stepped closer and pulled me against him that, while his clothes were soaked, his body was warm, and dry. Damn firebenders. As for me? I could hardly breathe, let alone care that the back of my nightgown was instantly absorbing the rain from his robe, sending an instant chill down my spine.

"Katara," he repeated in the same tone, the tone that echoed his initial look perfectly, a tone that implied a need. A need that I thought was best left unsatisfied.

Did I want to? Oh, La, did I ever want to. But I couldn't … There was too much at stake, and the fact that I was trembling only strengthened this opinion.

"Katara," he said, a little more forcefully as he shifted around me, moving to my front. One of his knuckles came to rest on the underside of my chin, and mere moments later, the same knuckle then tilted my head back so that our eyes met.

And there it was … that smouldering look I had been trying so hard to avoid. Now that I found myself captivated by it though, it was nigh impossible to tear my gaze away.

"Zuko, we can't." I tried to reason, nervously swallowing at the lump forming in my throat. What if someone had seen him? What if we were found out? Everything he'd been working so hard for would be shattered in an instant.

"Give me one good reason," he said, barely above a whisper, as he ran a hand through my hair gently, using that soft grip as a reason to move closer, his breath tickling my ear. It was all I could do to remain as still as possible in this close proximity, my hands were itching to come to rest against his chest, to feel that steady heartbeat beneath my fingertips.

We've played this scene too many times already, and it never ended well. Anger and tears was the constant outcome. How many times had this happened already? I could hardly remember.

What I do know is that it was becoming more and more constant. Several times I had wished I hadn't been named the grand ambassador of each Water Tribe, though the north and south tribes had pretty much merged shortly after the Great War was declared over.

"We just can't Zuko, and you know the reasons," I murmured, any bite I'd previously had completely drained at his presence being so close. Please, please let him go. I don't know if I can hold out this time.

"Remind me," and his hands were drifting lower down my form, coming to rest at the small of my back, the touch causing my eyelids to flutter and breath hitch.

"The council wouldn't approve," I told him hazily, resting my head against his shoulder without really considering it. It was getting hard to think clearly. Pent up emotions were surfacing with a vengeance and all I wanted to do was surrender to his will. Hadn't I fought this for long enough? Fighting all that time while we were travelling together …

I'd tried so hard to do the right thing – the world had expected me to be with Aang, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't commit to intimacy when he was like my little brother, but did I ever try. No one could honestly say that I didn't try. I'd fought for over a year and a half, but I never was able to sit back and meekly do what others expected of me, least of all if my heart wasn't in it. If I had, I never would have left with Aang in the first place, nor fought for my right to be taught how to use waterbending in battle by Master Pakku.

"The council would get over it," Zuko hummed, tracing intricate patterns into my back, unconsciously warming my entire body with his firebending, a warmth I just as unconsciously leaned into and welcomed. "Try again."

"Your people … They'd never accept a water bender to be with their Fire Lord. Weren't they the reason you fought so hard for the position?"

Quite suddenly, there was a wall behind me and Zuko had his arms resting on either side of my torso, essentially trapping me in place. His amber eyes were ablaze with frustration, a look that occurred every time we'd been through this, it was a look that usually told of the end … For that night anyway.

Yet, there was certainly something different this time. On most nights, he would regard me with this look then storm away, but this time … this time he seemed more determined, his lips set in a frown of determination, and the fire in his eyes was roaring. And I … I was weakening. I couldn't help it. Seeing him like this was enough to make my usual icy exterior melt. It certainly didn't help that I was running out of excuses to _not_ give in to him.

"Damn it, Katara," he hissed, his eyes boring into mine, and I was reminded once more of how ferociously he could fight when he set his mind to it, and of how much I adored that side of him. "I don't _care_ what the council thinks," he grazed a hand against my cheek, another touch that accompanied the longing look that was hacking at my already withering will. "And, my people adore you. I wouldn't care if they didn't," Oh La, I could feel his breath on my lips, and our noses were brushing as my heart ran a thousand beats a minute. Wasn't this the part where I was supposed to object?

"I just want you, Katara, to hell with the rest," he declared, and with that, he kissed me and I bade my willpower goodbye, instantly thrusting my hands up into that luscious hair of his, pulling him as close as possible, wanting as much of him as possible.

Why had I fought this for so long? Why, when I felt so _right_?

Maybe I had been hooked since the first time he actually spoke my name, or perhaps it was when he 'saved' me from the pirates? Who could say really?

All I knew in that moment was Zuko's mouth on mine …

… And I never wanted it to stop.

XXX

Congratulations! You got to the end! ...

So, what did you think? Reviews are love – Flames, not so much.

Hope it wasn't _too_ bad. It's only me reading these things after all.  
Later days!

Phoenix089


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